


That Empty Far Horizon That Opens to a New Eternity

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Community: spn_j2_xmas, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sick Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 17:53:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4755650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen wears Jared's hoodies because it's cold and he's sick, and Jared is hopelessly in love with him. [repost, first posted 24/12/2014]</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Empty Far Horizon That Opens to a New Eternity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zubeneschamali](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zubeneschamali/gifts).



"Come on," Jared mutters impatiently, jiggling the key around a little to get the front door open. 

The lock has been jammed for days. Jared makes a mental note to do something about it every time he gets home, but then forgets as soon as he's inside. Not that he's really sure what do to anyway. Oil it? Call a locksmith? Wait until Jensen does something about it? The latter is probably his best bet, because Jensen is handy like that and gets things done. Ever since he moved in, the list of things that need to be fixed around the house has been significantly shorter: The lightbulb in the guest bathroom has been changed, the loose hinge in one of the kitchen cupboard is screwed into place again, and the wobbling chair that was missing one of those little stopper thingies is fixed.

Jared keeps making jokes about how nice it is to finally have a man around the house, but he's only half kidding. Jensen takes care of things, and more importantly, he takes care of Jared. Jared would feel a little guilty about it, but he knows Jensen is happy to make himself useful. He'd been worried about imposing on Jared when he first moved in, even though Jared had not only offered to share his house but spent a whole afternoon talking Jensen into it.

It's been the best idea Jared ever had, if he's honest with himself. He has the dogs, but the house felt empty and too big for one person, and it's nice to go home with Jensen after the end of a day on set.

Today, Jensen wrapped filming a few hours ahead of Jared, and Jared finds that he doesn't mind that either. He gets to go home to him, and there's something comforting about knowing Jensen will be there at the end of a long day. 

The lock finally gives and Jared uses his shoulder to push it open. He has bags with take-out food from their favorite Thai place in one hand, his backpack in the other, and a script tugged under his arm that nearly slips down as he stumbles into the house.

There's light and the soft murmur of voices coming from the TV in the living-room, and Jared grins to himself as he lets the backpack fall carelessly onto the ground. "Honey, I'm home!" he calls out cheerfully.

"About time, fucker," Jensen's voice comes back, and Jared laughs. He shucks off his coat, scarf, and shoes, drops the script onto dresser by the door, and pads into the living-room. 

Jensen sitting on the couch wrapped up in what looks like a heap of blankets, Harley and Sadie sprawled out half on top of him, and all three of them look cozy and sleepy. Harley is snoring, and Sadie wags her tail when she sees him but makes no move to get up and greet him.

"I brought food, too," Jared announces as he rounds the couch. He sets the bags onto the table before flopping down next to Jensen with a satisfied groan. His back is aching a little and it feels good to sit down and finally relax.

"It's the least you could do," Jensen replies, and then yawns, his mouth wide open and he doesn't bother covering it with his hand. It really shouldn't be attractive, but Jensen manages to make even yawning endearing, all snuggled up and cuddling with Jared's dogs.

Jared sends him a mock glare for good measure. "You're ungrateful, all three of you. I worked all day _and_ I make sure you don't starve, and I don't even get a thank you or a proper greeting." 

"Sorry, did I hurt your feelings? I meant to say I worship the ground you walk on, Jared," Jensen replies with a smirk. "Really. You take such good care of me, darling."

The drawls the last word out, waggling his eyebrow and there's definite innuendo there. It makes Jared's stomach flutter. It's been happening a lot lately; their usual banter has gradually been shifting into flirting, and the teasing has a suggestive tone to it more often than not. It's stuff they can still write off as harmless goofing around, but Jared is more and more sure that's not what either of them wants. 

It's new and exciting, but the downside is that neither of them is making a move to do anything about the tension that's building up between them. 

"I _do_ know just how to take care of someone," Jared replies now with a sniff, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah?" Jensen asks. "I think I'm gonna need proof of that."

For a split moment, Jared wonders what would happen if he delivered proof. If he kissed Jensen right now, or put his hands somewhere where they don't belong. Instead, he laughs it off.

"Oh, you gotta take me out to dinner first. I'm not _that_ easy," he says, and reaches out to steal the remote from Jensen's lap. He ignores Jensen's protesting "Hey!" and clicks away whatever show Jensen was watching until he finds a re-run of _X-File_ episodes. 

"You snooze, you lose," he teases.

"You live here, too, now, Jensen. It's not my house but our house now, Jensen. We're equals, Jensen," Jensen mocks, pulling the afghan higher around him and Jared snorts.

"Pretty sure I never said any of those things. It's my house and you're my bitch, Ackles. Means I get to decide what we watch," Jared says cheerfully and tosses the remote aside, far enough out of Jensen's reach that he can't get to it unless he climbs over Jared. He grabs one of the bags from the table and pulls out a take-out container for Jensen, one for himself, and the plastic forks. "How're you feeling, anyway?"

"I'm fine. Why?" Jensen asks as he untangles himself from his cocoon. Jared watches in amusement, waiting until Jensen's hands are free before passing over his food.

"You had a headache when you left set earlier."

"I didn't," Jensen argues, and Jared snorts in reply.

"You were all squinty-eyed and crabby."

Jensen huffs and opens his container of food. "It was nothing. I'm good, dude."

"Or maybe you caught the cold that's been going around. Half of the crew has the sniffles, and I hate to break it to you but even you are not immune to those kind of things."

"I'm _fine_ ," Jensen stresses and sends him a look that clearly tells Jared to drop it. Jensen hates being sick, and he hates making a big deal out of it even more. In the three and a half years that they've been doing the show, Jensen has called in sick exactly once, though Jared can recount at least a handful more times when Jensen felt awful, but dragged himself to work, insisting he was just peachy. One memorable time this ended with Jensen puking his guts out the second they wrapped for the day, while Jared stroke his back and murmured any comforting words he could think of to Jensen.

A cold isn't bad enough to worry about, but Jared knows it's best not to let those things fester. He makes a mental note to make sure Jensen drinks plenty of juice and eats enough vegetables over the next few days, and that he doesn't stand around without his heavy winter coat between takes.

They have four days left before Christmas break, he reminds himself. Four days Jensen will have to get through, and then they're both flying home to see their families.

The thought makes him feel morose, rather than happy.

+

Jensen falls asleep not too long after they finish their food, blankets once again pulled up high, and Jared decides to watch the rest of the episode before waking him up. Jensen's head drops onto Jared's shoulder halfway through, and he's making soft snoring noises.

"Not a cold my ass," Jared mutters, and shifts carefully so the angle is a bit easier on Jensen's neck. They're filming a couple of small stunts tomorrow and the last thing Jensen needs is a stiff neck on top of being sick.

It's not the most comfortable position for Jared, Jensen a dead weight against, but he doesn't mind. There's a familiarity there, a comfort, that only few people in Jared's life can bring him. 

He's starting to doze of himself by the time the episode ends, and he gently shakes Jensen awake. "Come on," he coaxes. "It's time to go to bed, Jensen."

Jensen mumbles something under his breath, but he blinks his eyes open and pulls away. Cute isn't usually a word Jared would use to describe Jensen; good-looking, sure, but not _cute_. He's sarcastic and snarky and far too grumpy sometimes, but right then cute is really the only word Jared can think of. Jensen looks drowsy and tired, his features soft and his hair mussed, and Jared has the urge to wrap him up in his arms.

"Time's it?" Jensen asks, words slurred together.

"Not too late. Around ten," Jared replies. He gets up and rolls his shoulders, hearing the muscles pop, and looks down at Jensen with a smile. "Up. You go to bed, I'll clean this stuff away."

"I can help."

"I got it. Don't worry," Jared assures him. "You go get some rest. Long day tomorrow."

"'kay," Jensen mumbles around a yawn, and untangles himself from the afghan. He stumbles a little, feet dragging on the carpet, and pats Jared's chest as he passes him, his hand lingering for a moment. Jared can feel the warmth of his touch seeping through the layers of his shirts. "See you tomorrow."

Jared hums in agreement, and watches Jensen shuffle out of the room for a moment, only now noticing that he's been wearing pajama bottoms the whole time. They're a soft gray, the fabric clinging to Jensen's thighs and ass, and Jared lets his gaze sweep freely over the soft curves and strong muscles. 

Once Jensen is out of sight, he sighs and starts cleaning up.

+

Jensen's voice has that telltale nasal tone to it the next morning, and he looks miserable as he drinks his coffee while they wait for their driver to get there.

By lunchtime, he's started to cough and sniffle and it's ruined more than one take. Jared can see the lines of frustration on his face, hears the edge to his tone, and he's glad when they stop for a break.

Jensen mumbles something about a nap, coat wrapped tightly around him, and makes a beeline for their trailers before Jared can reply. So Jared does what any best friend would do: he gets food and hot tea and follows Jensen to his trailer.

Jensen is curled up on the couch, still wearing his coat and boots, and he frowns when Jared enters. "Don't even say it," he grumbles. Jared puts the food down and mimes zipping his lips shut.

"I brought you lunch and tea," he says.

"Not hungry."

"Eat it anyway," Jared replies and carefully sits down on the edge of the coffee table. "Anything else I can do? Anything you want me to get you?"

Jensen shakes his head, looking pitiful, and Jared sighs.

"I'll leave you to it then. I'm serious about the eating though. And make sure you stay hydrated, okay?"

"Yeah, mom," Jensen snarks, but it comes out weak. Jared frowns at him for a moment and then tries to act casual as he reaches out and brushes his hand over Jensen's cheek.

Jensen huffs. "I don't have a fever," he says, but he sounds more amused than annoyed.

"Just checking," Jared replies, and cups Jensen's cheek for a brief moment before he stands back up. "I'll be in my trailer. Call me if you need anything."

Jensen makes a noise that Jared takes as agreement. He fetches a blanket for Jensen and drapes it over him before he leaves. Outside, he tracks down a PA and asks for painkillers, knowing it's the only thing Jensen will take because they won't make him drowsy, and then sets about getting himself lunch.

The afternoon is marginally better. Misha is there and after the first few months of working with him, they're all starting to mesh pretty well and Jared feels like they're finally getting a hang of each other's humor. Jensen seems to be doing a bit better after the nap and the scenes they film go well, though Jared can tell he's completely wiped by the end of the day.

He's not surprised that, once they're home, Jensen goes straight to bed. 

Jared takes Sadie and Harley outside on a long walk, and it makes him feel a little less guilty about how little time he has for his dogs when they're filming. It's cold outside, the air brisk, and very time he walks under a street lamp, he can see the small, foggy clouds of his own breath. He jams his hands into the pockets of his coat, leashes wrapped around them, and hunches his shoulders.

Most of the houses in the neighborhood have Christmas decorations up. Fairy lights adorn bushes and trees, and he even spies Christmas trees through the windows of some houses. One house, a couple of streets from their place, has gone all out: there are three lighted reindeer, a snowman, and Santa. Harley barks when they pass the house, making Jared chuckle to himself.

"Good boy," he praises, and pets Harley on the head to quieten down. He stops to snap a quick picture, so he can show it to Jensen and listen to him rant about ugly Christmas decoration and modern kitsch, and then quickly keeps going before Harley decides to attack the reindeer.

Back at the house, he makes himself a hot chocolate. He thinks about spiking it with rum, but decides against it in the end, knowing he has to get up early.

He calls his mother, and they spend twenty minutes chatting about their days, various family members and Jared's upcoming trip home. Afterward, Jared heats up some leftovers from the day before, reads his script and watches some TV before calling it a day, too.

+

The next three days pass much the same. Jensen has a mild fever on the second to last day of filming, but he takes some ibuprofen and he insists that he feels okay. He sleeps a lot, and Jared makes sure he drinks and eats and otherwise tries to leave him alone.

It's a bit boring without Jensen there to entertain him. Jared has gotten used to the two of them hanging out after work, watching TV together or playing video games. Sometimes, they just sit on opposite ends of the couch, reading their scripts or answering emails on their laptops, and even that is nicer than doing it on your own. 

On set, most people are in a pretty festive mood and Jared passes more people than he can count who are humming Christmas songs under their breath. There are a few plates with cookies laid out in the food tent and Jared has more than his fair share, but Jensen isn't eating any so Jared figures it evens out.

"I'm watching my girlish figure," Jensen kids when they're sitting together for lunch on the last day on set. He's pushing chicken and rice around on is plate.

Jared snorts. "You do know the only reason I'm letting you get away with this is because I know your momma is gonna fatten you up again the minute you get home, right?"

"I'm really not feeling all that bad anymore," Jensen says and nudges Jared's foot under the table. "Just kind of... _meh_."

"Meh?" Jared echoes with a laugh.

Jensen shrugs his shoulders. "Best way I can describe it. I just...I want to sleep for a year, man. Having a cold is exhausting."

"You just have to make it through the rest of the day," Jared reminds him. 

"Yeah, except I'm flying home tomorrow. I'm not sure how much rest I'll be getting between seeing all my relatives and friends," Jensen says, and looks a little pained. "Don't tell my momma, but if I'm totally honest, I think I'd rather stay here and just do nothing for a while. Fuck, that'd be so _nice_."

"You're saying that now, but you'd totally regret it. Plus, yeah, your mom would kill you."

"There's that," Jensen agrees with a sigh, and then laughs humorlessly. "Listen to me, I sound like a whiny brat. Poor me, has to go home and see his family."

"You've been sick for a week and we've been working pretty hard," Jared says softly, and if there weren't other people around he'd reach across the table and cover Jensen's hand with his. He's always been better at expressing his feelings physically – which is funny, considering he talks more than anyone else he knows. And Jensen, once he reaches the stage where he allows someone to show him physical affection, is much more susceptible to it. Over the years, Jared has learned that sometimes the best thing he can do for Jensen is give him a hug or a pat on the shoulder, a silent show of support and companionship.

"Anyway," Jared says, placing his fork next to his empty plate. "I get it. Christmas is _exhausting_. And I'm really not looking forward to traveling this close to the holidays."

"We're pathetic," Jensen says, and Jared laughs.

"Yeah."

They share a grin, and Jensen knocks their feet together again. "So, hey," he starts, gathering their plates and napkins. "Before we leave tomorrow, I was thinking. Tonight: you, me, the couch, and some horrendously expensive whiskey."

"Sounds perfect," Jared agrees and smirks. "Will I get a Christmas present, too?"

Jensen gets up, picks up their things and then winks at Jared as he rounds the table and brushes past him. "Only if you're good," he says, voice lowered, and there's a glint in his eyes that leaves Jared momentarily speechless as Jensen walks off.

"Oh, I'm _good_ ," Jared calls after him, and ignores the way people around him turn their heads. Jensen throws a smile at him over his shoulder, and Jared could swear there's an extra sway in his steps suddenly. The fucker.

+

Filming wraps up early that afternoon, and since they had a little Christmas party for the cast and crew the week before, they say their goodbyes quickly, exchanging a few hugs and _Merry Christmases_ with the people still hanging around.

Back at the house, Jensen goes straight to his bedroom to pack, since his plane is leaving early the next morning. Jared takes the dogs for a walk around their neighborhood and then spends half an hour playing and cuddling with them on the living-room floor. Harley and Sadie are staying at a dog kennel over the break, and while the place is going to pamper them and treat them right, he still feels a pang of guilt for leaving his dogs behind on Christmas. 

"I'll be back really, really soon," Jared promises while Harley licks his face and Sadie is lying half on top of him. "And I'll bring you back treats and toys."

Sadie makes a whiny, huffy noise that tugs at Jared's heartstrings and he scratches her behind the ears. "I know, baby. I wish I could take you with me."

"You're doing them a favor, Jay," Jensen's voice comes from the doorway- Jared glances up, flushing sheepishly, and untangles himself from the dogs, sitting up.

"I know. It's just...I hate leaving them."

Jensen pads into the room, a soft smile on his face. "It's better than making them travel all the way to Texas, then to L.A., and then back here in just a couple of weeks," he says and holds out a hand to Jared.

Jared lets himself be pulled up, laughing when Harley licks his face one last time with an excited bark. "Remind me of that again when I call you and whine to you about how much I miss them."

"Will do," Jensen promises. "And I might have bought a shit ton of squeaky toys and those milkbones they love so much, too."

"You have?" Jared asks, and tries very hard not to get emotional. It's not _that_ big a deal, except it's his dogs and Jared can't help the lump that forms in his throat. If he didn't love Jensen already he's pretty sure this would do it. 

Jensen grins and holds his arms open. "I know you want to hug me right now, so bring it in already, Padalecki."

Jared laughs and steps forward, wrapping his arms around Jensen in a bone-crushing hug. "You're the best doggy co-parent in the world," he mumbles, lips brushing against Jensen's ear. Jensen gives him a squeeze, before stepping back.

"Well, I kinda like you guys," he says with a grin. "Now, let's bring out the whiskey and order food, because I'm starving."

"Pizza?" Jared suggests, and Jensen nods.

"I'll get the whiskey," he says. "And turn up the thermostat, because it's freezing in here. No wonder I got sick."

"It's not that bad," Jared argues, and Jensen snorts in reply.

"Not if you're a fucking furnace. But if you're a normal human being, then yes, it's cold."

"Fine. I can take a hint," Jared sighs.

Jensen gives him a look. "Can you?" he asks.

Jared grins and flicks Jensen's ear, laughing when Jensen yelps and tries to slap his hand away.

+

Jensen goes to take a shower after the pizza is ordered, and Jared putters around. He picks a small selection of movies for them to watch, and then straightens things up around the kitchen and living-room, because he hates coming home to a messy house after a vacation.

Jensen returns just as Jared is placing the pizza on the coffee table, and Jared smiles when he sees him. His hair is still mussy and damp, and he's wearing thick woolen socks, his pajama bottoms, and a gray hoodie that is definitely Jared's.

"Are you stealing my clothes?" he asks as they sit down on the couch. Jensen pulls his legs up and then pulls the afghan from the side of the couch over his lap. 

"Finder's keep," he replies and Jared huffs, opening the pizza box and putting two slices each onto the plates he got out for them. 

"I'm pretty sure that refers to things you find out in the street or some shit like that, not those you find on the clothes line after I did my laundry."

"I got it from your closet," Jensen replies with a grin, and makes grabby hands for the pizza. Jared holds out out of his reach.

"Only if I get my hoodie back, Jensen."

"If you want it back, you'll have to come and take it off me," Jensen replies and grins slyly, and those words leave Jared fumbling for a moment. Jensen takes advantage of that and grabs one of the plates from his hands with a triumphant 'ha!'. 

"You cheated!" Jared exclaims and Jensen laughs.

"Oh yeah? How exactly did I cheat?" he asks, and Jared scowls at him, because he's not going to say it. Jared is not going to be the one to bring up this thing between them and leave himself open to rejection. He's just not. 

"You suck," he says instead and sits back. 

The first DVD is already in the player, and he grabs the remote from next to him. 

" _High Noon_ ," Jensen says, clearly impressed, when the menu pops up. Jared smiles to himself, because he deliberately picked the movie because he knows Jensen likes it.

"You weren't exactly happy when I made you sit through Christmas movies last year," he says, and presses play.

Jensen bumps his shoulder against Jared's side. "I might just give you back your hoodie after all," he says and then pulls the afghan over Jared's lap.

"I might just let you keep it," Jared replies, as the film starts playing and the first notes of "Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling" start ringing through their living-room.

+

They finish the pizza and start on the whiskey. They drink the first whiskey rather quickly, toasting to each other and the holidays, and then refill their glasses and sip those much more slowly. Somewhere during the movie Jared's arm ends up curled loosely around Jensen's shoulders. Jensen shifts closer to him and drops his head onto Jared's shoulder.

"You're warm," he mumbles.

"Is it still too cold? I can turn the thermostat up higher," Jared offers in a hushed tone, so he's not talking over the dialogue of the movie.

Jensen makes a soft sound, before he shakes his head against Jared's shoulder. "I'm good like this," he says. His hand slides over Jared's stomach, arm settling around his waist, and they're definitely cuddling now.

They don't move for the rest of the movie, and Jared is barely paying attention to what's happening on screen anymore. He's warm from the whiskey he had, and it's nice and cozy under the blanket. Jared can feel the gentle rise and fall of Jensen's shoulders as he breathes and smell the citrusy scent of his shampoo. This, Jensen in his arms snuggled up against him, is too close to what Jared has been longing for a while now. It feels like a dream come true and not nearly enough at the same time.

"Wanna watch another one?" Jared asks when the credits start rolling, hoping Jensen will agree because he's not ready to call it a night yet. He runs his hand down Jensen's side experimentally.

"One of us would have to move," Jensen says, and Jared hums.

"Yeah."

"Then no," Jensen decides and tilts his head. His hair brushes against the skin of Jared's neck, soft and tickling, and then Jensen presses his nose into the dip of Jared's collarbone.

"Cold!" Jared exclaims, because Jensen's nose is freezing, and Jensen chuckles.

"I told you."

Jared makes unhappy noise and pulls the blanket up higher, making sure Jensen is covered from head to toe and puts his free arm around Jensen too. "It's not still the cold, right? You don't have chills?" he asks.

"Nah. Just the usual 'it's winter and my landlord doesn't believe in heating the place properly'."

"That's a lie," Jared protests. "You're a wimp, is all. Plus, I'm keeping you warm right now, so you can't complain about me."

"I'm not," Jensen says and rubs Jared's stomach.

"I told you I can turn the heat up more. And I can give you extra bedding for tonight," Jared offers.

"Jared," Jensen says, "I'm good. I like you keeping me warm."

He sounds fond and a bit exasperated, like Jared isn't getting the point he's making and maybe he hasn't, until now. "Oh," he mumbles.

Jensen pulls back a little and looks up at him. The light of the television is casting shadows over his face, his cheekbones sharp. 

"Jay," he says, and then he tips his head up and presses his mouth to Jared's. He pulls back again quickly, and Jared doesn't dare move, or even breathe. He just stares down at Jensen and Jensen smiles at him, his hand freeing himself from the blankets and coming up to rest of Jared's cheek as he leans up for another kiss. This one is firmer, insisting, and Jared lets out a startled moan and kisses Jensen back, his arms tightening around Jensen and pressing him up against his body.

Jared has been thinking about this; fantasizing about this. Looking back, he thinks maybe he's been attracted to Jensen since the day they met without knowing it, but the last few months have been eye-opening. It's been building up, this thing between them, and finally feeling Jensen kissing him is the most satisfying, exciting thing he's ever felt. 

Jensen pushes up and pulls away, both hands cupping Jared's face now. "Fuck, _Jared_ ," he says, all husky and breathless. He throws one leg over Jared's and then Jared has a lap full of Jensen, and Jared groans and pulls him back in. His hands travel down the expanse of Jensen's back, feel the way Jensen's muscles flex and move under his touch. He nips and kisses his way down Jensen's jaw, peppers a few stray kisses down his neck, and lets his hands slide lower. Jensen makes the softest, sweetest noise when Jared palms his ass, his fingers digging into Jensen's hips.

"God yes, touch me," Jensen groans, and arches into him. Jared can feels his cock, half-hard, through the soft fabric of his pajama bottoms. For a split moment, he wonders if this is happening too fast, if they're rushing into things, but then Jensen tugs at his hair and crushes their lips together in a hard, dirty kiss and Jared stops caring.

He's been waiting for months, and he can finally have this now, and he _wants_ it.

+

They end up in Jared's bed, clothes dropped carelessly on the ground. Jared is pretty sure he could get lost in Jensen's kisses, his touch. His hands map out Jared's body, searching out the spots that make him shudder and moan.

"God, you have no idea how good you feel. How amazing you are," Jensen whispers into his mouth, against his cheek, lips placing kisses everywhere.

Jared just makes a strangled noise and rocks up against Jensen, pressing his hard cock against the soft skin of Jensen's belly. Jensen is so wrong, because there's no way he's anywhere near as incredible as Jensen is.

"Jared," Jensen says and nuzzles his jaw. "What do you want, sweetheart?"

"I...," Jared starts, but he's not sure how to answer that. Jensen is naked and on top of him, and there are so many things Jared wants, so many ways he's imagined this happening. He wants all of it, wants to leave nothing out, and it feels overwhelming to think of all the choices he suddenly has.

Jensen pulls back a little and looks down at him, amused and maybe a bit worried. "Jay?"

"You choose," Jared says, and Jensen offers him a small smile.

"Yeah?" he asks. Jared nods and Jensen kisses him softly. 

He shifts them so they're lying side by side, and they just keep making out for a while, touching and kissing, hips grinding together lazily. Jared is pretty sure he could come just from this, the feeling of Jensen's body against his.

Jensen pulls back a little and brushes his lips over Jared's cheek, tugging a strand of hair behind his ear. "I want to be inside of you," he murmurs. "Can I fuck you?"

"God yes," Jared groans, nodding his head, and just the idea makes heat pool in his stomach.

He's been with a couple of guys, but all of his longer relationships have been with women, so his experiences are limited and he's glad he's leaving Jensen in charge. Jensen is good at this; he takes things slow and makes sure Jared is comfortable.

He opens Jared up with slick fingers, sliding in and out and stretching him, and Jared is surprised by how amazing just this feels. He curls his fingers into the sheets and groans when Jensen brushes his fingers against his prostate, rocking back into Jensen's touch.

"Good?" Jensen murmurs and nips at his jaw.

Jared lets out a short laugh. "Good?" he echoes. "Fuck, you're amazing."

Jensen hums, and pulls Jared into a kiss, swallowing the protesting noise Jared makes when he pulls his fingers out. He arranges Jared on his back, kneeling between his spread legs. Jared watches him roll the condom down his dick before slicking himself up with lube.

Jensen kisses him once more, a sweet, soft peck on the lips, before he positions himself and starts pushing in. It burns a little, because Jensen isn't exactly small, but it's more of a dull ache than actual pain. Jared tries to relax, breathing through it and gripping Jensen's shoulders. 

"You okay?" Jensen asks, brushing his knuckles down the side of Jared's face. His own breathing is a little fast, and there are beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Yeah. Just give me a moment," Jared replies. He hoists his legs up around Jensen's waist, shifting experimentally, and Jensen moans. It feels better, not amazing yet, but pleasurable enough and just knowing that it's Jensen, that he's inside of him, makes it a million times better. Jared bites his lower lip and nods is head. "Move."

Jensen kisses his cheek, and complies. He rocks in and out of Jared with small movements, hands on Jared's thighs holding them up. 

"Fuck, Jared. _Baby_ ," Jensen groans, and thrusts into him a little harder, deeper. His cock drags against his prostate, and Jared moans, back arching up.

"Do that again," he orders, and gasps when Jensen pushes into him again, pleasure shooting up his spine. His fingers are digging into Jensen's skin so hard now, he's probably going to leave bruises, but judging by the noises Jensen is making he doesn't seem to care. He just fucks Jared harder, driving into him with fast, perfect thrusts of his hips.

Jared is pretty sure he's making embarrassing noises, gasping and moaning, but Jensen feels amazing inside of him, hard and big, filling him and stretching him perfectly. 

Jensen grips his cock, and it takes only a few strokes before Jared tumbles over the edge, his orgasm washing over him. He slumps bonelessly back against the mattress, and Jensen has his face buried in his neck yet, mouth open and panting as he thrusts into Jared. Jared swears he feels the moment Jensen comes inside of him, body stilling and going rigid.

They lie like that, sweaty and sticky, and Jared falls into a light sleep. He's dimly aware of when Jensen pulls out, of being rearranged, and then a soft kiss is pressed to his cheek.

"Good night," Jensen whispers, and Jared mumbles something in return, and makes a content noise when he feels arms wrap around him.

+

The mattress dipping and jostling wakes him up, and he blinks tiredly, confused for a moment before he becomes aware of where he is, who he is with.

Jensen is standing by the side of the bed, pulling on his pajama pants.

"Jensen?" Jared mumbles, and is hushed moments later.

"Go back to sleep," Jensen whispers.

"Where are you going?" Jared slurs, and tries to sit up, but firm hands press him back down into the mattress.

"Gotta get to the airport," Jensen says. "Stay in bed. You have a few more hours, Jay."

"You're leaving," Jared says, more alert now. He can't help the pang he feels, because last night was amazing and they're not getting a real morning after. Jared wants to wake up with Jensen still in bed with him, wants to lie there and laze around before getting up to have breakfast together, sharing lazy kisses and small touches all the while.

"It's Christmas," Jensen reminds him with a small smile. He bends over and kisses Jared softly. "I'll text you once I get to Dallas, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Jared agrees, even though he doesn't really mean it. Jensen kisses him once more and that's their goodbye. Jared stays in bed, listening to the sound of Jensen moving around downstairs.

Jensen has left the door ajar and Harley and Sadie eventually trod in, clambering up onto bed with him. Jared gives them a quick pat, and then lies back down with a sigh.

+

It's good to be back in San Antonio with his family. He eats too much food, hangs out with his siblings, and helps his parents around the house.

He can't help feeling distracted though. His thoughts keep straying back to the night he spent with Jensen, and despite how amazing it was, Jared wishes it had happened at a different time. He wishes they could have sat down and talked about what happened, figured out where to take it from there.

He and Jensen text each other over the next few days, but usually it's meaningless stuff. Jensen sends him a picture of the beer he's drinking, and of the Ackles' Christmas tree, and keeps up a running commentary of the Christmas movie his sister makes him watch. It's comfortable and familiar, no traces of post hook-up awkwardness, but the topic of their night together doesn't come up either. Jared hates not knowing where they stand, what will happen between them.

"Is everything okay?" his mother asks him over breakfast on Christmas Eve. Everyone else is still asleep, but Jared is so used to early wake-up calls that he's not used to sleeping in late.

"Sure. Why do you ask?"

"You've been quiet," his mother says with a knowing look. "You're never quiet unless you're upset about something."

"Not upset," Jared says. "I just got some stuff on my mind."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No," Jared replies. "Not yet. Maybe eventually?"

His mother pats his arm and gives him a small smile. "Okay. Just as long as you know I'm here if you need something."

"I know," Jared says, and kisses his mother on the cheek. 

He excuses himself once everyone else is up and retreats to his bedroom. His childhood stuff is all gone, packed up in boxes, his room transformed into a guest room. It's nice enough, but Jared misses his bedroom in Vancouver suddenly, with all his things. He sits down on the bed and pulls out his phone, hesitating for a moment before pressing the buttons to call Jensen.

"Jared?" Jensen answers, voice gruff and sleepy.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Jared pulls his legs up, resting his chin on top of his left knee. He smiles, picturing Jensen in his bed, hair mussed up and pillow creases on his face.

"Don't worry about it," Jensen replies. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to talk, I guess," Jared settles on, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. He wishes he knew how to broach the subject, but there's no smooth way of asking someone about your relationship status after one night of sex.

"Is everything okay at home?" Jensen asks, and Jared can hear the worry in his voice.

"Everything is fine," he quickly assures him.

"But?"

Jared breathes in slowly, and out. "Can we talk about what happened the other night? It's just...it's been driving me a bit crazy, I guess."

Jensen is silent for a moment, then clears his throat. "Yeah, sure. If you want to."

"Don't you?" Jared counters, picking at the sheets he's sitting on.

"Jared, of course I do. It just feels weird to do it over the phone. Especially when we're both in houses full of relatives," Jensen says. "Cause I don't know about you, but it's hard to get some privacy around here. In fact, I'm pretty sure someone is going to come knocking on my door any minute now. I'm surprised they let me sleep in this late."

"Yeah. I know what you mean," Jared agrees. "I guess I'm just a bit worried that we'll never talk about it. That it becomes this thing where we tiptoe around what happened forever."

"I have no intention of letting that happen."

"Good," Jared says and feels relieved. "Me neither."

"It was a good night, right?" Jensen asks, softer. Jared closes his eyes and smiles, thinking about the way it had felt to kiss Jensen, to have his body pressed against his, to have Jensen inside of him.

"Yeah, it was."

"Something I definitely think we should repeat," Jensen adds. "Like, a lot."

"A lot, huh?" Jared echoes, laughing softly. "Have you forgotten what our usual schedules look like?"

"You gotta dream big, Padalecki," Jensen teases.

Jared smirks. "Oh, I do," he replies, and Jensen lets out surprised sound that quickly turns into a laugh. It's pretty much the best sound Jared has ever heard.

"So, we're doing this?" he asks before they hang up.

"We're doing this," Jensen echoes.

+

Jared gets two texts from Jensen right before lunch that day.

 _Just so we're clear: I miss you_ , the first one says. And the second, moments later, reads, _And I can't wait to kiss you the next time I see you_.

Jared is grinning like a loon all throughout lunch.

+

Jared is coming in from outside where he helped his father in the backyard when he hears a sound he's all too familiar with: Jensen's laughter.

"What the..." he mutters and walks a bit quicker, following the sound of chatter into the kitchen.

His mother is sitting at the table, Jensen across from her. He's holding a steaming mug of what Jared guesses is coffee between his hands, and he looks up and smiles when Jared comes in.

"What are you doing here?" Jared exclaims, and Jensen grins and shrugs.

"Thought I'd come by for a visit," he says. He gets up and Jared meets him in the middle, pulling him into a hug. 

"Jensen," Jared murmurs, and closes his eyes for the briefest of moments.

"Merry Christmas," Jensen says, and Jared laughs softly as they step back.

"That was two days ago."

"Yeah, well," Jensen says, and Jared knows it means _I miss you_ and _I wanted to see you_ , and god, Jared is in love with him. He's head over heels in love with this man.

"How long are you staying?" he asks, and curls his hands into loose fists because he's itching to reach out, to take Jensen's hand in his, to touch him.

"I don't want to impose."

"Nonesense," Jared's mother chimes in. "You're welcome to stay, Jensen. I'm sure everyone would love to catch up with you."

"Well, in that case," Jensen says. "Thank you, Sherri."

"Nothing to thank me for. You're always welcome here, Jensen," Sherri says and then frowns. "I fear we don't have a spare guest room right now, though."

"He can sleep in my room, that's fine," Jared says, offering his mother what he hopes is an innocent smile and that he doesn't give away any ulterior motive he might have for wanting Jensen in his room.

+

"Gonna let me sleep in your bed, or are you gonna make me sleep on the floor?" Jensen asks when the door of Jared's current bedroom falls shut behind them.

"Where do you want to sleep?" Jared replies, and Jensen smiles and steps up to him. He brushes a strand of hair out of Jared's face and rests his hand on Jared's cheek.

"Definitely not the floor," he says. Jared places his hands on Jensen's hips and ducks down to meet his lips for a kiss. It's short, but sweet and Jared is grinning when they pull apart.

"Hey," he says, and Jensen laughs softly.

"Hey."

"So, why are you really here?"

"Just wanted to see you," Jensen says with a shrug. "After the phone call the other day, I wanted to talk to you in person."

"Well, here I am."

"And yet I don't really feel like talking right now," Jensen teases and Jared pulls him into another kiss. The door isn't locked, and Jared knows someone could walk in on them any time, but he doesn't care. Jensen is there and, just like it has for years, everything else ceases to matter when he is.

+

They end up sprawled out on the bed, side by side. Jensen recounts the Ackles' Christmas morning, his fingers absently stroking over Jared's hand.

"We never exchanged presents," Jared notes, frowning. "Yours is still in Vancouver."

"Yours is too. We can have a little post-Christmas celebration and exchange them once we're home," Jensen suggests and raises his hand, resting it on the side of Jared's neck, thumb running over the skin there softly. "Maybe we can fly up a few days early. Spend some time doing nothing but sleeping and hanging out, taking the dogs for walks."

"Sounds nice," Jared agrees. "How's your cold anyway? You sounds better."

"I'm fine. Had a great nurse, helping me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he brought me food and tea, and took care of me."

"Sounds like one hell of a guy."

"The best," Jensen says and leans in, brushing their lips together. Jared suddenly can't wait for the holidays to be over and to go back to Vancouver.

+

"I forgot how fucking cold it is in here," Jensen says, coming up behind Jared and sliding his arms around Jared's waist. Jared keeps his attention on stirring spices into the sauce he's making, the pasta boiling in the post next to it.

He's been looking forward to this for days now: Being back in Vancouver with Jensen, using the last few days before filming starts again to explore the new aspects of relationship.

"It's not that bad," he replies.

"Not in here. But it's freezing in my bedroom."

Jared turns down the heat, puts the lid on the sauce, and then turns around in Jensen's embrace. He kisses the tip of Jensen's nose as he wraps his arms around his waist. "Luckily, you're not going to sleep in your bedroom, are you?"

Jensen tips his head back, bringing his hands up to rest on Jared's shoulders, and frowns. "Then why the hell did you let me lug my stuff down the stairs?"

"Cause I like the idea of you not having anything to get dressed in when you get up in the morning," Jared says with a grin. He places a smacking kiss on Jensen's cheek and Jensen laughs.

"I could just steal your clothes again."

"Well, I like the idea of you wearing my clothes too," Jared says. "And taking them off."

Jensen grins up at him. "I'll make sure to borrow a shirt from you more often," he says and gets up onto his tiptoes, bringing their lips together. Jared hums contently into the kiss, trails his fingers down the small of Jensen's back and hooks them into the belt-loops of his jeans, holding Jensen close against him.

Behind them, there's the hiss of the pasta water boiling over, but Jared doesn't care. He thinks about lifting Jensen up and placing him on the counter, or pushing him up against the fridge. Thinks about kissing Jensen until they're both hard and breathless, until Jensen begs him for more. Maybe he'll get down on his knees, take Jensen into his mouth and find out if it's as amazing has he's been imaging it to be. Or maybe he'll get Jensen off with just his fingers inside of him and his lips on his. He could fuck Jensen right here, or drag Jensen into the bedroom, ride him on the fresh sheets he put on before Jensen came home.

It doesn't matter that they'll have to toss dinner out and that Jensen will complain about wasting food. Jared will just kiss him again until he forgets about it. 

There's so much Jared wants to do with him, to him, that he can't wait for them to experience together. He wants to find out what kissing Jensen first thing in the morning tastes like, what it feels like to have Jensen all wet and slick in the shower with him, and to take him out on dates and spend the whole night flirting over wine and food. He wants to wake up with him and just stay in bed for an hour or two, cuddling and talking and having lazy morning sex. 

This, right here, is where the rest of his life begins.


End file.
